• Doctor jokes
• Police
• Lawyer
• Journalist
• General

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.

The Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 60."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80."

"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 75 at least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

Naughty Wife III

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your damn mouth!"
Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
Wife: "No, only when he's drunk."

The Ghana Police , The Libyan Police , and the Nigerian Police  are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The African Union decides to give them a test. African Union releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The Ghana Police goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The Libyan Police goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The Nigerian Police goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten Dog. The Dog is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."